Babuska Dying. What Should I Do?

02/11/15

This morning, I woke up to a call from my mother. She was informing me that my father's mother, my babuska, would probably not survive the week.

And now I've just talked to her, while I wait for the bus. I've tried to talk to her at least once a week for about two years now, but quite often I've missed a week or two. I haven't seen her for about a year and seven months. I wanted to visit her during Christmas last year, but I couldn't accomplish it.

While walking to the bus stop, it occurred to me, I could perhaps throw caution to the wind and fly up to her ASAP. That idea, however, contains many complications. My babuska lives in Canada, and there are certain things I need to do to travel accross the border. I also would need to let work know, which is its own complicated mess.

And what if I go, but she's gone by the time I get there?

Which regret would be worse? That I didn't see her one last time, or that the consequences of seeing her were more costly than I can afford? Could I even handle the slim possibility of both regrets?

All these thoughts, these if's and but's. I don't know. Maybe either choice is right and either choice is wrong.

I need to make a decision and make it quickly.