Considerations of Tone

02/26/15

So, there's something on the Internet considered the "tone" argument, I think. It happens when a person tells someone they're wrong, but does it in a particularly rude manner. People don't always react very positively to this, and some people go so far as to say that people who act so rudely don't deserve any really attention.

I'm not sure how I feel about this line of thought. I mean, people get emotional, and unfortunately emotional people might not communicate in particularly effective or even clear or intelligible manners. I think dismissing someone purely on their tone can be a poor reason. Refusing to continue a conversation or debate on that basis might be reasonable. Conversations require consent of all parties. But if you're going to continue the conversation, I find any attention on tone that isn't a sincere request for a less confrontational conversation about whatever subject is being discussed is in fact a derailing of the conversation at hand.

Also, unless executed correctly, taking issue with someone else's tone is a self-defeating argument, in a way. Unless considerations are taken towards how the emotional person will react to being told they are acting emotional, it's kinda being hypocrital to bring it up.

Personally, I want to work towards effective communication. I'm not the kind of person to be that emotionally involved in anything. Even super serious stuff that I should get upset or angry about. So, I'll try to respond to anyone's criticisms expecting the best of intentions from them and just try to let them understand my position. Now, this isn't always going to end well, and I may give up on communication, but I've been liking my personal growth with this perspective.

Further, if someone is upset and angry, I'm going to respect that. Sometimes, that's appropriate. I don't need to identify it unless it's actually upsetting me. I can just continue the communication the best I can without being disrespectful. I will no longer consider it inappropriate or rude for someone I disagree with to be emotional.

Being emotional is sometimes the logical and reasonable thing to be. And perhaps working towards understanding what a person is saying would prove more effective than calming them down. I think keeping one's ability to communicate effectively while being emotional could be incredibly powerful, as well.