Dream

I actually got up to try to write down the dream. I laid in bed a while, repeating bits over and over again. Something about a school, but there was so much more. I got up and walked slowly to the office, but halfway there all that remained was "school".

And that is still all that remains.

Seems going to write it down won't necessarily help. There's a translation I need to do.... That'll be what I work on. Perhaps I'll sleep with my phone closer and try to record myself recanting the dream (lightly, so as to not wake the wife).

Meditation (Day 77)

Trying a new thing today. Writing in here before I meditate. This is for prep purposes. So, the main obstacles I'm dealing with are:

• tempting distractions
• posture fidgeting

Tempting distractions are distractions I mindfully note but still end up wandering down. These seem to be the main ones that can even still lead to forgetting (though not sure if breath ever leaves awareness considering that it's typically what finally brings me back).

So, my awareness seems to catch these fine, and so do my introspective check-ins, but that alone doesn't stop them. Sometimes I even notice an ever growing "focus on the breath" narration in the background that still does not break the distraction.

I know The Mind Illuminated has a section on this that I should revisit, but also I can maybe see what happens now that I've more carefully defined this issue.

Posture fidgetting is just something I need to grind out with my current intention of "do it mindfully". Aka, treat it like an itch or a sudden strange sensation. First try "relax and look for joy; observe, let it come, let it be, and let it go", and then if it refuses to calm down then I focus on it instead of the breath, and then after a bit of that I can slowly reposition and observe the feedback I receive carefully.

I've done this a bit here and there, and I've noticed that it is notably improving my posture, but I do find myself repositioning automatically. It's very similar to how I used to scratch an itch automatically, or even a lot like noticing I'm wandering down distractions. I think just giving myself the regular feedback and guiding it back to the desire flow should get me there eventually (again, been noticing progress anyways).

Extracurricular Stuff

Friend may or may not do call today. Might play with kubeflow. Might also do a bit of blog writing today (either on my "practice intentionality" post or maybe I'll pick something from my meditation list to write about).

Plan on doing music video editing with my wife, as well.