Dream

Dream stuff all in physical notebook. Will be digitized tonight.

Intention (2200 the night before)

Two new concepts to play with: incubation and WILD (wake-initiated-lucid-dream). I realize that I already did a WILD (my last lucid dream). I'll try again on purpose after WBTS tonight.

Incubation also I was aware of, but I have more pointers to work with now.

But what do I want to incubate? Back in 2007 I had "the never-ending lucid dream" (my writing on this is lost to entropy, but I may recreate it as best I can and put it in this dream journal). At one point there was this dilapidated mansion full of others who also seemed to be dreamers (meeting "other dreamers" seems to be a common experience with lucid dreamers according to the book). "He's back," they said of me. As though I were an old friend.

How different is that place now? I want to know. When was the last time I was there? Do I visit regularly and forget?

Let's go back. Even if it's just to eat their delicious food again.

Ready? 0400 alarm set. Changing Toggl to "Sleep".

Wake-Back-to-Sleep (logged at 0330 this morning)

It's 0325. Not sure if this is an acceptable WBTS time. I do not remember any dreams. I did, however, repeat the wild process and watch my body fall asleep. Didn't expect to fall asleep into a dream, though. Other stages of sleep and all that.

Going to try again now, though. This time I won't be too quick to start the dream. I think that was maybe one thing I did wrong last time.

As backup I will also try to incubate mansion dream again.

It's 0340. Time to go back to sleep.

Wake (logged at 0700 this morning)

A couple of dreams that I should've wrote down sooner. Kept almost falling asleep with WILD but getting too excited and waking up more when I felt my body start to vibrate (and also when the blackness of my vision started to maybe seem to get some light). Eventually I gave up, rolled over, and fell right asleep.

Though, saying that, the first dream I remember may have been before rolling over, but it ended up not being lucid even so.

(Wrote down my two dreams here.)

Seems incubation and WILD didn't "work", but both felt pretty great to try. Will try again tonight. I will also try to build the habit of writing the dream as soon I wake up from one (after doing a reality check). I'll write down this intention as well before sleep, and during WBTS.

Perfect Dark

I am the protagonist in Perfect Dark. In an enemy facility. It has thick, square pillars down a massive concrete tunnel. I'm on an elevated side-path, a full story above, but with no guard rail. The path is made of sheet metal. Ahead of me there's a guard about to turn around. He spots me, and I shoot him. Another guard on the bottom level spots me. I go to shoot him, but I'm out of bullets. I throw my gun and miss completely. I jump down and steal his weapon.

I get too excited and wake up I think.

Forgotten

Except for stuff I shouldn't share here, can't really remember anything about this dream. Just know that it existed and it was shortly in my brain. Writing this down to help cement the intention to dream journal as soon as it occurs to me to do so.

Meditation (Day 84)

Intentions for the day:

• Label the distractions, do it over and over so that it becomes automatic
• Anything I have control over, try to do anticipate it mindfully
  • E.g. swallowing, introspective check-ins, even
• Trace distractions to source, see how much wandering happened
• Try to note where the breath was when you label a distraction (attention, awareness, or forgotten)
• Only adjust posture mindfully, microadjustments due to relaxation too (though just "relax" as a mindful cue is good)

Post-Meditation

I moved exactly once, and I did it mindfully. The cat was digging to get under the mat, and so I moved slowlyd and deliberately so that there was a little tube for the cat to shuffle into.

I'm fairly certain I never forgot the breath, though it did fall into awareness plenty.

Again, less narration today. Distractions setup in Notion still solid. Distractions I remembered are:

• Library Report (work task)
• Data Classification (work task)
• Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (entertainment)
• (Song not feeling) Suicide is Painless (Song)
• Posture (Meditation)
• Planning (Meditation)
• Fantasy (Projects)

And while reviewing here I remembered and added some, which is fun. Some of these kept coming. Some of them were gross, and some were subtle. I should probably update my system to reflect these things.

Noting where the breath was when noting a distraction was fairly automatic, and helped breath stay in attention more often. And also, there's stages to the attention? I label it following and connecting, based on recommended ways to follow the breath in The Mind Illuminated, but really it's a matter of how vivid and clear the breath is. When I'm following it's less clear than when I'm connecting, and also there's a lot of stuff to connect.

Extracurricular Stuff

Did some work extracurricular today. That plus meditation and dreaming means I'm full up on it today.