Dream

Do have some dream notes. The longer I wait the less I can expand on them, but I need to focus on other priorties, so it may just be the scattered half-asleep notes.

Gradual progress!

Intention (2245 the night before)

Once again, slightly better sleep hygiene. (15 minutes, yeah, gradual progress) Writing to reinforce importance of this activity. Will keep yesterday's intent.

Scattered Pieces

Pool shenanigans. Tethered to workmates. Life-long friend shows up. Leaving the hotel on foot talking with friends. Missing wallet spot check. Magic time. Sequel hook.

(I wrote this in the journal at 0320. Could write much more at the time, but only had the energy for this compromise, and I am very thankful to have it. Thank you, past me, this is super valuable.)

Wake (logged at 0745 this morning)

I awoke at 0430 but even a sentence was too much for WBTS. The 0320 dream could've been much more, but am thankful for the compromise. That worked. Dream skills are a matter of gradual progress.

Meditation (Day 110)

Intentions for the day:

• Stay in posture part of prep until you're prepared to set the intention to stay still
• Stage 4 intention (vigilance on keeping introspective awareness continuous)
• Fall back to stage 3 if necessary
• Label the distractions, do it over and over so that it becomes automatic
• Learn the various different ways I guide myself back to the breath
  • E.g. away from tempting distractions, away from posture distractions, away from pain
• Note where the breath was when you label a distraction (attention, awareness, or forgotten)
• Before adjusting posture, mirror-check
• Mirror-check only when agitated due to worry and after counting to 8 in breaths
• During planned attention away from breath, keep breath in awareness

Meditation starting a little after 1600 today.

Post-Meditation (1650)

Lots of trouble today. Gave up at 35 minutes. Lots and lots of internal and external distractions. Though, even all that said, still a good meditation. There's a lot to learn, and sometimes it'll be more than I can handle on a given day. If it continues to be an issue, I'll need to prepare some strategies to overcome. But for now I'm focusing on how I feel right out of the meditation and... perhaps I just needed a shorter session.

45-minutes is really starting to feel like a long time. I think technically a mixture of pain and boredom won out. It's good that boredom is back. Next time I feel the two together, I'll try to at least count to eight and see how I feel.

I'd still call this a stage 4 day.

I think I'll still go for a walking meditation (which will kind of finish the 45 minutes).

Experimental

General Thinking

Going to try running again today. Only "fun" or "easy" runs for now. Going to focus on form (going for the ChiRunning form).

I'm learning that a lot of my exercising can benefit from less pushing myself and more focusing on form. I can then start pushing myself again once I'm more sure of my form (and also I notice that doing this is strengthening my core).