Daily Entry: September 23rd, 2020

Dream

Intention (2230 the night before)

Another 15 minutes earlier to sleep! I'll also try to wake up at 0700 proper tomorrow morning.

Let's get some dreaming in (same goals).

Wake (logged at 0745 this morning)

Really felt the need to focus on sleep, so I did. Woke up at 0200, 0400, and 0600. Had things worth writing down at each time. But getting out of bed felt too big an ask. This is an important give and take with myself. If I force it, it stops being something I want to do. It being something I want to do is main goal. Progress is chaotic. Will keep trying.

Meditation (Day 111)

Intentions for the day:

  • Stay in posture part of prep until you're prepared to set the intention to stay still
  • Stage 4 intention (vigilance on keeping introspective awareness continuous)
  • Fall back to stage 3 if necessary
  • Label the distractions, do it over and over so that it becomes automatic
  • Learn the various different ways I guide myself back to the breath
    • E.g. away from tempting distractions, away from posture distractions, away from pain
  • Note where the breath was when you label a distraction (attention, awareness, or forgotten)
  • Before adjusting posture, mirror-check
  • Mirror-check only when agitated due to worry and after counting to 8 in breaths
  • During planned attention away from breath, keep breath in awareness

Post-Meditation (1030)

Today was cut short due to a meeting heavy morning (stopped at 40 minutes), but today did not have the troubles of yesterday. Breath very vivid, was very capable of bringing myself back from gross distractions (and also stopping subtle distractions from becoming gross).

There feels like less things learned when I have such a day. Though any inclination of giving up was met with the intention to start counting, and before I even started the desire evaporated, which felt really good.

Experimental

Walking meditation is going to be replaced with short ChiRunning jogs. That's what yesterday's walk ended up being. I'll be doing that in like an hour, I think. I believe this will have its own journal entry as per ChiRunning recommends doing it.

It'll be a bit before I do that, though. First I just want the habit of going out for a super short, definitely injury-free run.

General Thinking

I may want to add a second screen to Netflix, as often I find I want to do LLN when Rosse is watching TV, and often she's on Netflix.