Dream

Intention (2255 the night before)

Quality sleep main goal. WBTS only if me-at-the-time agrees. Full trust in me-at-the-time. Incubate food dream. Recite intention.

Sleep time.

Fusion of Job Offices

I am working at my old job, but it is now an open-floor office instead of at-most 2 people to an office. There's an assigned person I report to behind my desk. I think I'm working on a comic. I forgot to leave my phone outside the office and get really annoyed with myself right as I think I'm figuring out someone's joke. "Excuse me for a quick moment," as I run outside the no-phone area to put away my phone (and make a mental note of emailing security about the incident).

There's music on the way back. Everyone is dancing. And I hop down the pathway. I trip at some point, but no one seems to notice (and I'm not particularly embarrassed or hurt by it).

That's all I remember.

Awkward Road Trip

I am in the backseat of a car. The wife is driving. I am stripped down to my underwear. I soil myself. It seeps through and stains the car. I am in disbelief that I let this happen. We are a ways from home. Need to clean it up somehow.

That's all I remember.

Pre-nap (1337)

So, today I want to think about work. High-level, priority work, whatever. Really, it's about having the scope of attention in work. As time goes on, I'll want to be more specific, but for now, work.

After the usual reciting of intentions and stuff.

Post-nap (1355)

Work-only takeaways, as planned.

Meditation (Day 117)

Was originally planning early morning meditation, but I do think I want to get straight to work, and I seem to have a pretty good mind state right now.

Intentions for the day:

• Stay in posture part of prep until you're prepared to set the intention to stay still
• Stage 4 intention (vigilance on keeping introspective awareness continuous)
• Fall back to stage 3 if necessary
• Label the distractions, do it over and over so that it becomes automatic
• Learn the various different ways I guide myself back to the breath
  • E.g. away from tempting distractions, away from posture distractions, away from pain
• Note where the breath was when you label a distraction (attention, awareness, or forgotten)
• Before adjusting posture, mirror-check
• Mirror-check only when agitated due to worry and after counting to 8 in breaths
• During planned attention away from breath, keep breath in awareness

Post-Meditation (1730)

Another solid day. Not quite best, but close.

Decided that when I would observe the breath in a specific way, that I needed to note when I stopped. This would be a good way to know if a distraction is subtle or gross, if it stopped me focusing on the breath how I chose. This idea came halfway thru, and I always explicitly decided to go back to following and "deeply feeling" the breath at the nose. So, that's a solid sign for "actually no gross distractions".

I've decided that all posture manipulation will happen during posture prep or after the timer has expired, else posture is a gross distraction. I found that very early on that I could do the mudra mutation to my posture. So, the idea is to start with a posture I know I can keep through out, hold it for a bit, and then mutate towards the thing I want to try. Then keep that for the session. The mutation should be as small as possible (enforce gradual progress).

If I can't just settle into the posture that I was in for the session yesterday, I'll just go through the process of attaining that posture one small change at a time in prep.

Experimental

Starting to explore native Japanese dictionaries.... I have a ways to go. I think I should always try to read a definition in there, as well, though, whenever I look something up in jisho.

General Thinking

Oh ho?

What's this?

I'll be initializing this document the night before now. (This'll be moved into general thinking once the template gets pasted in.)