Timeblock
| Time (PST) | Plan | Reality |
|---|---|---|
| 0000 | SLEEP | |
| 0030 | SLEEP | |
| 0100 | SLEEP | |
| 0130 | SLEEP | |
| 0200 | SLEEP | |
| 0230 | SLEEP | |
| 0300 | SLEEP | |
| 0330 | SLEEP | |
| 0400 | SLEEP | |
| 0430 | SLEEP | |
| 0500 | SLEEP | |
| 0530 | SLEEP | |
| 0600 | SLEEP | |
| 0630 | Meditation | |
| 0700 | Cooking/eating breakfast | |
| 0730 | Reading: The Doors of Perception | |
| 0800 | Morning routine | Getting ready |
| 0830 | Drive to orthodontist | |
| 0900 | Orthodontist appointment | |
| 0930 | Drop off rental car | |
| 1000 | Walk home | |
| 1030 | Spaced-repetition/Morning routine | |
| 1100 | Diary thinking | |
| 1130 | Stretching | |
| 1200 | Lunch | |
| 1230 | NAP | TV: YouTube Overwatch |
| 1300 | Buffer | NAP |
| 1330 | Running 2.5 miles | Ab workout |
| 1400 | Shower/maintenance | Running 2.5 miles |
| 1430 | Maintenance: Notion Tasks | Shower/maintenance |
| 1500 | Maintenance: Notion Tasks | |
| 1530 | Buffer | Setting up Dolphin/SSBM |
| 1600 | Meeting: Mixpanel Meditation | |
| 1630 | Buffer | Gaming; SSBM |
| 1700 | Cooking block | Cooking: Pizza |
| 1730 | Cooking block | Cooking: Pizza |
| 1800 | Buffer | Cooking: Pizza |
| 1830 | Music with wife | Cooking: Pizza |
| 1900 | Side-projects | TV: F is for Family |
| 1930 | Hanging out | TV: YouTube |
| 2000 | Hanging out | TV: YouTube |
| 2030 | Winding down | End of day routine |
| 2100 | SLEEP | |
| 2130 | SLEEP | |
| 2200 | SLEEP | |
| 2230 | SLEEP | |
| 2300 | SLEEP | |
| 2330 | SLEEP |
Thinking
Flexibility really coming into form. I don't have to do this setup first thing in the day. And really, a lot of my day is planned, but I like to make it clear that I explicitly wrote it down before it happened in the timeblock above.
Now that I'm tracking every second of the day, more or less, it's much clearer that if I want add to the pile of things I do each day, I need to decrease or remove something that is already tracked. It is towards this purpose that I have added a question to my morning routine: "What entertainment do you want to consume today? What do you want to avoid?"
The positive question is asked first, and the negative is only asked to see what I can take out to make room for what I want in. I stopped playind MTG Arena seriously a while ago. It is a very rare play now, and only with someone else. But I was still watching MTG Arena players on YouTube. Now, I was quite enjoying this, but that by itself should not warrant continuing a habit. I need to also verify that I am not missing out on something I'd enjoy more in the process.
So, I have cut MTG Arena from my entertainment consumption, and have added in the anime K-On!, which has been on my list for a while.
Really, I have cultivated quite the list of entertainment to consume. There's no need to spend my dedicated entertainment on YouTube, unless I value it more, which I do not. It used to be that I found it "tiring", but this is not true now, and even at the time when I justified it it wasn't more tiring than YouTube. I think I was just too used to the "junk food" YouTube diet.
Meditation (Day 19)
Meditation habit continues, consistently past my expectations of it. I'm not used to habits sticking after the first real attempt. I mean, I "tried" to have a meditation habit back in 2017 (using Headspace), but I didn't "get it" and so it couldn't be maintained.
I'm used to things I even value doing not sticking. Could this be my ADHD medication? Does the creation of habits using medication help maintain those habits when the drug isn't in effect? My meditation session is before I take medication, after all. Hmmmm....
Anyways, let's talk about one of my saved topics a bit....
Ah, here's one I've chewed on a bit. During my reading of The Mind Illuminated, the pharse "suffering is opitional" came up frequently. It is a common sentiment I've come across in relation to meditation.
I do not like the wording of this phrase. I find my issues with it to be similar to that of "when you put your mind to it, you can do anything", but I'll talk about that later. Having experienced meditation, and having built up a resistence to suffering (from minor pain), I understand suffering is not optional. Rather, suffering can be overcome. Or even more accurate: resistance to suffering can be cultivated.
It is similar to becoming physically strong. Being unable to squat 300 pounds is not optional, but gathering the strength to do so is possible with training (assuming disabilities do not interfere).
I find this to be a far better way to avoid ableism. Though saying it right now is a bit clunky. That's something that can be worked on, though.
Perhaps just an additional word could work? "Suffering can become optional." It is a process, though. You can't "just not suffer". And for a beginner, the phrase is not helpful unless explicitly given as some far off goal to strive for. The wiring to even begin to "not suffer" is simply not in place.