Meditation (Day 54)

Starting with stage 4 continues. I have noticed a pattern wherein during the second half of my meditation I often get flooded with internal distractions. I manage my way through most of them, but often one finds its way through to be a gross distraction, or just occurs often enough that it "makes progress" in a sense (like, a series of thoughts around the distraction will occur).

I'm getting better and better at handling this, and have a "focus on the breath" alarm that goes off pretty soon after a gross distraction has taken hold. But it also occurs to me that I may want to write any of these distractions that I remember down. They may be worth processing outside of meditation. Or at the very least writing them down may help me avoid getting caught on them during meditation. I still mentally list some distractions to be wary of during my meditation prep, but maybe I should go through a written list before I sit on the cushion....

Went outside for a proper walking meditation after my sit today. Might play with that more going into the future.

Extracurricular Stuff

So, as stated above, there are thoughts that come to me regularly that I don't write down. This is true outside of meditation, as well. I've been getting pretty good about not thinking about things in the "wrong context". Basically, if I find myself thinking about, say, politics whilst I'm in the middle of something not relevant to politics, I thank myself for noticing that I'm thinking about it, and guide my mind elsewhere.

But also, I'm trying to write my thinking down more, and once I've written enough about a thing, organize that writing to further process my thoughts. This is the real purpose of me writing "proper blog posts", instead of think-as-I-go here in this daily entry.

So, I spent some time making areas to think about certain reoccuring thoughts. And I'll create new spaces as necessary. These may or may not become public. It depends on whether or not I consider them possibly problematic. I have a very small audience of maybe 2 people who read this, but still. I think that's a good habit.

Anki Curation Stuff

Yesterday, I did not end up making time to add work anki card, for a variety of reasons. Though, I did read more The Mind Illuminated and add some new meditation cards.

I also created a "poetry deck" and added Kahlil Gibran's "On Pain".

I find this acceptable, but still something to improve on (especially in relation to my "practice intentionality" theme).

Exercise Thinking

So, today is typically a running day. And I have been making good progress on running and haven't noticed any real issues during running. However, there has been this growing... ache? irratition?... potentially problematic unpleasantness. It occurs in my lower back and in my knees (though of note it isn't my knees that are the problem but a tightness in my IT band).

Now, I don't think that the knees thing is anything to worry about, yet, as my foam roller seems to be finding the problematic spot and I may be able to handle it with the routine I already have in place. I do not feel the same about my back.

Now, I don't think running is hurting my back, but it may exacerbate the issue. I think the main culprits are my standing all day and my 45-minute meditative sits per day. I think posture will fix both of these causes, and I think sitting meditation posture is very nearly there if not there already (I rarely notice any back issues during sit anymore). But I am noticing back when standing here at my desk.

In any case, the real reason I want to skip running, at least for a bit, is to use that time to explore stretches and exercises targeting my core (both abs and back). I have yet to find a really good ab workout that doesn't cause a similar issue for my lower back, for example. I also have a history of having this issue, and I know I've "solved" it before (with deadlifts, I'm pretty sure). So, an exploration finding the right exercises to add to my exercise day should be worthwhile, and also not running may help avoid worsening the problem.

So that's my exercise plan today. Still plan on treating today like an exercise day (stretching in morning), but during the time I would go for a run, do the exploration.