Okay! The goal today is resetting habits to do maintenance stuff first thing.
Dream
Intention (2300 the night before)
Even though I didn't remember a dream last night, there were things to learn from the night, so it was a success.
- If awake enough to consider WBTS, do WBTS
- Reinforce writing in notebook if awake enough to consider writing in notebook
- Writing things down does, in fact, reinforce.
So, to reinforce my intentions:
- reality check in dream
- WBTS when wake-up in night
- incubate donut dream
- try WILD after WBTS
- practice watching self fall asleep right now
Sleep time!
Wake-Back-to-Sleep (logged at 0440 this morning)
No dreams explicitly remembered. Got some vague hypnagogy in head, but unsure if belong to dream.
No, then, can I WILD into a dream about a donut?
Learning Fighting Structures
I am training in a martial art. I learn thing by adding it as an index in data structure. I wonder what'll happen to all the data when I quit.
That's all I remember.
Trying to Get Joker's Attention
I am in the Batman universe. I am trying to get the attention of the Joker or Harley Quinn. I get the attention of people who'd rather I stop.
There's a man (whom I love? romantically?) that this is really all about. He's singing in a choir at church. After he's done, he goes to the roof. I try to get up there to talk to him but I fail. My hands grab the edge of the roof but I can't pull myself up.
That's all I remember.
Wake (logged at 0700 this morning)
Success! There's more to both dreams. I think there were some interesting conversations, but I don't remember them at all. I think the Joker was there at some point, smiling with a missing tooth.
There's a chance I was Harley Quinn at some point, as well.
Pre-nap (1408)
Again, think about work. Don't think I have any prep I want to do, nor time for that prep.
Post-nap (1427)
Thought about work stuff as planned. Saved in work-only area.
Meditation (Day 119)
Intentions for the day:
- Stay in posture part of prep until you're prepared to set the intention to stay still
- Stage 4 intention (vigilance on keeping introspective awareness continuous)
- Fall back to stage 3 if necessary
- Note where the breath was when you label a distraction (attention, awareness, or forgotten)
- Try to catch a distraction as it enters awareness and/or attention
Post-Meditation (1700)
New best day, again, I think. Even with my "strict" rule, sometimes it's hard to tell. I'm noticing a "Focus on the breath" as a distraction comes up, but sometimes the distraction lingers.... But is that an awareness or an attention thing? I'm going to be not strict here and say awareness until future sessions reveal otherwise.
A memory from a long time ago resurfaced today. I was playing FFXI. I was "pulling". I pulled the wrong monster. I was super embarrassed. This happened during a relatively long bit of not having any distractions try to enter attention.
There are also these distractions, I put them all under reflection, but they are a "reflective binding" of two memories playing back. Like, today I read this blog post reviewing a book advocating for open borders (as well as this article that agrees with the idea but not all the argument of the book), and watched a video about climate change. My mind thought about the creation of new cities for countries processing a large influx of immigrants that were designed to be maximally efficient and minimize carbon output (both during construction and during day-to-day functions).
The alarm caught both of these distractions all the same, which is pretty exciting.
Also, it seems like it may behoove me to start making time for analytical meditations. That's basically what is happening with the "reflective binding".
Today was also the most still I've been, I think. The only thing that happened was relaxing, which I anticipate will happen less as I get better at it.
Experimental
Feels good to be back to maintenance as the first thing. Head is clearer. Things are sharper.