Dream

Intention (2350 the night before)

Late to bed.... Wonder how that'll affect dreams.

Incubate eating donuts. WBTS when randomly wake up during night. Write in journal.

Thank you, future-me

Wake-Back-to-Sleep (logged at 0320 this morning)

Do not think remember dream. Trying donut incubation.

Wake (logged at 0700 this morning)

No dreams remembered. These things happen. Possibly poor sleep hygiene.

Pre-nap (1355)

Weekend! Which means a non-work-focused nap. So, I'm writing by pen and paper this pre-nap. So, then, what do I want to point the mind toward?

I haven't tried vague themes, yet. "Show me what I need to see?" could be interesting. Let's see what happens.

Post-nap (1417)

So, what did my mind show me? Do I still want to write it out in present tense, like reciting a dream? Yes.

I recite my intentions. This grounds me in intent and settles my mind.

• Reality check when
  • cat
  • food
  • water
  • journal
  • conflict
  • lucidity
  • call out
• WBTS in middle of night
• incubate dream
• Reflect and write in journal

And then, finally, "Show me what I need to see." Lots of politics, perhaps unsurprisingly. Starting a business, a bit more surprising. Start off hiring diversity, or momentum will be hard to overcome later.

Get Canadian paperwork in order. I'm working on this.

Start participating in organizing. Figure out how to help without adding COVID19 risk.

Relax and heal. Become stronger in this pursuit. Make all benevolent participants gain more than they lose. Focus on form and distance, and progress will come. Systemic problems require building new systems, cultivating them, and having them replace the old.

Meditation (Day 121)

Intentions for the day:

• Stay in posture part of prep until you're prepared to set the intention to stay still
• Stage 4 intention (vigilance on keeping introspective awareness continuous)
• Fall back to stage 3 if necessary
• Note where the breath was when you label a distraction (attention, awareness, or forgotten)
• Try to catch a distraction as it enters awareness and/or attention

Post-Meditation

Another solid day. Another reminder that meditation is super worthwhile. Wasn't feeling great. As instinct, I stopped what I was doing and decided to see if meditation would make me feel better. It did. Feel real good.

Need to make sure meditation is a consistent part of my morning again.

I may start putting in body scanning again soon. I think I am lacking the stamina to maintain the introspective awareness and the vividness of breath for the whole 45 minutes. Hence the gross distractions. I did in fact notice the dullness today and applied the antidote, gave me a huge come back. Need to strengthen my mind further for the awareness, vividness combo that feels so powerful.

But also I'm still learning a lot not doing that.... I think by next Sunday, if I haven't hit where I want to be in stage 4, I'll add back in the body-scanning (even though it's a stage 5 training device).

General Thinking

Got a lot of errands to run this weekend.