Daily Entry: September 2nd, 2020

Dream

Intention (2200 the night before)

Did a reality check before starting. Hopefully that's a strong sign (future note: forgot on waking up to do a reality check before writing, but hopefully next time!). Thanks for the dreams I'm about to write down! 0400 alarm is set. Let's visit my aunt!

Wake-Back-to-Sleep (logged at 0400 this morning)

Woke up at 0340, but didn't get out of bed until 0400. I think I had a dream? Tried to lay in bed and hold onto it, but that was a mistake (at least to do it for 20 whole minutes). It must've had something to do with Madoka Magica? Or maybe just magic in general.

4-Leaf Clover as Magical Conduit

We are trying to grow four-leaf clovers (on a tree somehow) for the purposes of having a conduit for magical power. The person instructing me is impatient and easily frustrated.

Wake (logged at 0700 this morning)

Hard night, dream-wise. Oh, well, try and try again and all that. Also, still better than pre-dream training. I'm pretty happy with my progress thus far, and feel confident that further dream capability will come with time. Only been like 10 days, afterall.

Pre-nap (logged at 1230)

Feeling like hypnago—-wait! gotta do reality check! Not dreaming.

....

Feeling like hypnagogic thoughts are possible today. Been working on work task enough that I can try "dreaming" about work.

Nap intentions: settle into hypnagogy, move mind to work task.

Post-nap (logged at 1300)

Plenty of hypnagogic thoughts about work. Realize don't grok enough of Library Report to pseudo-dream deeply on it. Should think of how to fix that.

Meditation (Day 89)

Intentions for the day:

  • Stage 4 intention (vigilance on keeping introspective awareness continuous)
  • Fall back to stage 3 if necessary
  • Label the distractions, do it over and over so that it becomes automatic
  • Before adjusting posture, count 8 breaths
  • Learn the various different ways I have to guide myself back to the breath
    • E.g. away from tempting distractions, away from posture distractions, away from pain
  • Note where the breath was when you label a distraction (attention, awareness, or forgotten)
  • Body-scan in the beginning and latter half of meditation
  • During planned attention away from breath, keep breath in awareness

Post-Meditation

Today was hard. Breath wasn't as vivid and distractions were plentiful. Of note, though, is I never forgot the breath. And there weren't even too many instances of the breath falling to awareness. Just that my attention on it had a loss in vividness. Perhaps I was struggling with dullness.

I also was pushing my leg flexibility, and so my left leg was complaining a lot near the end. So much so, that I gave up and looked at the time with 2 minutes remaining, and still decided to stop the meditation there.

Overall, though, it's like I hit a milestone recently that's hard to fall back from, and so today was still better than any day before the 29th. Which is super cool. I'm dealing with new problems and challenges, and I'm excited to see how I adapt and improve against them.

Also, a cool thing I noticed is how I switch my focus on the breath based on the distractions that are coming at me. For instance, if I hear my wife's YouTube videos playing, I switch to visualizing and feeling of the breath and away from hearing it (and any narration that I may have been using). This helps immensely.

Experimental

Timeblock focus continues. Going well, I think. Not expecting perfection, just regularly checking it and seeing if that's what I should be doing.