Reading yesterday's intent. Going for that.
Four dreams. Not going to write them down in detail. Need to start day. Also, it's too hot!
Here are some anchor sentences. I'll see what I remember later today.
Star wars dream.
Living with people dream.
Hotel on the run dream.
Old job dream.
On going back to write down dreams, I picked Star Wars one last, and by the time I got to it I didn't really remember it. I didn't find it particularly resonant in anyway.
I am visiting my old job. I know COVID is a thing, but I forgot my mask. It seems a lot of people are visiting each other's office and not wearing masks. This is contrary to what a friend told me was going on at the company.
An old workmate sees me and comes to say hi. I cover my mouth. He asks why I'm doing that. I tell him I forgot my mask. He smiles and shrugs, suggesting it's not a big deal.
I realize that I have my backpack and probably my phone in a no-phone area. I go to leave the area. I consider going to visit a friend on a different floor, but it seems like a hassle, especially since I recently video-chatted with him.
That's all I remember.
There is a wedding happening at a hotel. I am there for the wedding but also wanted by the law. I juggle interacting with friends there for the wedding and evading undercover law enforcement.
I remember a lot of running down hotel hallways. I remember being in a large and fancy bathroom.
I do not remember the narrative of the dream.
A teenage girl is regularly visiting my home. The home is a studio flat, with stairs to an open second floor area. There's an L-shape to the whole area, with the flat above the kitchen, and the other area being a tall entertainment area with fluffy rugs and comfy couches and chairs facing a giant TV.
There's a montage of her visiting my place. At one point, we're watching wrestling with two different muscular princesses fighting each other.
Eventually, she moves in with her boyfriend. A curly-haired young man with dark skin who always wears a sharp suit with some shade of blue.
Things transition to an animated summary of what happens. I think I'm the one narrating. I note how she has grown. I note the health of her relationship with her boyfriend. They grow apart and break up amicably and then two new animated faces pop in to show the new relationships that form. They stay friends.
That's all I remember.
Late nap. See what happens. I'd like to use today to practice reciting intent. Same as from two nights ago. Attempt from memory:
- I will thank myself for the dreams I remember
- I will recite intent while falling asleep
- I will practice reality checks while falling asleep for following triggers
- I will WBTS at 0400
- I will WILD after
- I will rehearse memory upon waking up.
Let's see what happens.
I recite my intentions. Reality check triggers feel right. Picture the trigger, visualize myself doing a reality check, visualize the reality check verifying I am dreaming.
After reciting my intentions 3 or 4 times, I start to direct my thoughts. I waver a bit in what to think about, before deciding to think about work.
I think about the in-house code I am using on the current project I work on. I try to create a connection hierarchy. What are the components I depend on dependent on? What APIs are used. What layers talk to each other. What is achieved and where? I note that I have a very limited breadth and depth of knowledge. This feels like a good place to start my work Anki project in stride. It should directly contribute to effectiveness at the current project.
I then think about big picture stuff. This is thinking I like to do, but I do not believe there are any particularly currently useful bits here to save, even for later. This is something wherein the stuff that sticks with me is the stuff worth eventually playing with. I note this as a distraction, and decide to end the nap.
Not much hypnagogic stuff this time. More of an analytic meditation, in a sense. Also good, mind you. Hopefully the reality check trigger practice will also bear fruit.
Last double-digit prime number today. That's fun.
Intentions for the day:
- Stage 4 intention (vigilance on keeping introspective awareness continuous)
- Fall back to stage 3 if necessary
- Label the distractions, do it over and over so that it becomes automatic
- Before adjusting posture, count 8 breaths
- Learn the various different ways I guide myself back to the breath
- E.g. away from tempting distractions, away from posture distractions, away from pain
- Note where the breath was when you label a distraction (attention, awareness, or forgotten)
- Body-scan in the beginning and latter half of meditation
- Mirror-check in the beginning and latter half of meditation
- During planned attention away from breath, keep breath in awareness
New intention! Going to mirror check myself a specific number of times. Will try to visualize what I think I look like and then contrast the reality.
There were bits of meditation that went fast today and bits that went slow.
I think I like the mirror check addition. Really convinces me to otherwise stay still so I can see what I look like and if it matches my expectations based on how I feel. Still not perfect at staying still, mind you, but it's a significant step.
Time slowed down after the work meeting part of the session ended. I managed to keep breath in awareness whilst having the post meditation conversation, which was a fun accomplishment. Timer check distractions and boredom found their way to me. I was counting 8 breaths for an additional mirror check when the session ended. I was feeling the time was coming, but I'm trying to assume I don't really know how much time is left.
As I gain more moments of attention on the breath, 45 minutes starts feeling longer. This makes sense under the "Moments of Consciousness" model, but it also makes predictions of time that much more difficult. I've made my timer redundant to be sure that something will tell me I'm done, and otherwise am trying to keep the timer-check distraction in awareness and not in full attention-mode.
No SkillShare today. Have errands to run and work to do.