Daily Entry: September 14th, 2020

Dream

Intention (2200 the night before)

I don't think I'll go for anything specific tonight. Still smoky. Won't force a WBTS, though if it happens maybe I'll try it out. Probably going to want to go straight back to sleep. Sleep quality hasn't been great (think smoke plus heat).

Reflection (0930)

Didn't write in journal on waking up. Feeling ill. Also, only want it to be a positive experience to write down dreams, not a chore. In any case, I did remember my dream.

Bayou

I am a member of a group of escaped enslaved people. We are on a raft going down a bayou. I am telling the story of our escape to someone. My family should be a free family, but we had been captured and illegally resold into bondage. So we planned our escape

That's all I really remember.

Meditation (Day 102)

First sick day meditation day. We'll see how it goes. Planning for a 1600 session.

Intentions for the day:

  • Stage 4 intention (vigilance on keeping introspective awareness continuous)
  • Fall back to stage 3 if necessary
  • Label the distractions, do it over and over so that it becomes automatic
  • Before adjusting posture, count 8 breaths
  • Learn the various different ways I guide myself back to the breath
    • E.g. away from tempting distractions, away from posture distractions, away from pain
  • Note where the breath was when you label a distraction (attention, awareness, or forgotten)
  • Body-scan in the beginning and latter half of meditation
  • Mirror-check in the beginning and latter half of meditation
  • During planned attention away from breath, keep breath in awareness
  • Take some time to feel the illness in the body

Special intention today, want to really take some time to look at the illness I'm feeling during meditation. I'm curious what the result will be.

Post-Meditation

Two best days in a row? Maybe. And I'm sick today! I noticed it a couple times but it stayed in awareness.

Breath has been very vivid and awareness is fairly strong. Some distractions sneak through and become gross still. Tempting distractions aren't an issue as much now, it's the sneaky distractions that vigilant introspective awareness misses. But typically these distractions repeat themselves throughout a session and give me plenty of time to see where the missing introspective field is. One distraction seemed to get caught by the introspective awareness by the end, which is neat.

Shoulder also seemed to do better today. I think my mouse setup at my desk aggravates it and makes it annoyed during sit, but I think sitting posture is mostly fine (though I do notice a twisting).

Experimental

We might be able to do some Adobe practice today. Though I'm taking a sick day, so I'll be taking it easy.

General Thinking

First sick-day since February. Smoky weather, man. Been sleeping like 10 hours a night fighting it off. Apparently the smoke will just continue to be bad for a while, as well. Ugh.

Still made a timeblock for the day, but adhering to it is not required.