Daily Entry: June 9th, 2020

Timeblock

Time (PST) Plan Reality
0000 SLEEP
0030 SLEEP
0100 SLEEP
0130 SLEEP
0200 SLEEP
0230 SLEEP
0300 SLEEP
0330 SLEEP
0400 SLEEP
0430 SLEEP
0500 SLEEP
0530 SLEEP
0600 Buffer SLEEP
0630 Morning routine block Meditation
0700 Reading: Book Morning routine
0730 Planning Calling aunt
0800 Stretching Reading: The Mind Illuminated
0830 Stretching Planning
0900 Stretching Notion tasks
0930 Stretching
1000 Appointment: Psychiatrist
1030 Buffer Stretching
1100 Just Dance Notion tasks
1130 Shower/maintenance Work Notion
1200 Lunch
1230 NAP Lunch
1300 Buffer Talking
1330 Work: OpsLead NAP
1400 Work: OpsLead Work: Maintenance
1430 Work: OpsLead Work: Debugging
1500 Work: OpsLead Work: OpsLead
1530 Buffer Work: Slack
1600 Meeting: Medtitation Reading: The Mind Illuminated
1630 Music with wife Work: OpsLead
1700 Cooking: Mac and cheese
1730 Cooking: Mac and cheese
1800 Side-projects TV: The Legend of Korra
1830 Side-projects Music with wife
1900 Hanging out TV: The Legend of Korra
1930 Hanging out Reading The Mind Illuminated
2000 Hanging out TV: YouTube Cosmonaut
2030 Winding down TV: YouTube Cosmonaut
2100 SLEEP
2130 SLEEP
2200 SLEEP
2230 SLEEP
2300 SLEEP
2330 SLEEP

Thinking

Fun terms from the book (that I read a while ago but didn't write down here):

  • following: noting the various starts and ends of the stages of the meditation object (when does your in-breath start/end, out-breath start/end, and how long are the pauses between the two)
  • connecting: contrasting the various stages of the meditation object (is your in-breath longer than your out-breath, is the pause before the in-breath longer than the pause before your out-breath)
  • labelling: give your distractions short names, this helps you notice which are more regular and which are rarer, and which are likely to take the center stage of your attention

Also useful: as a beginner, narrating your observations in the mind is fine. Eventually, you want to observe wordlessly, but learning to keep attention is worth the words in the beginning. I believe you can also do all of the above wordlessly as well, but right now for me it's pretty wordy (but already getting less wordy). (edited)

I'm pretty sure I'm safely in Stage 2 already (interrupted attention and overcoming mind-wandering). There are some hints of Stage 3 (extended continuity of attention and overcoming forgetting). I don't think I lost the meditation object today/yesterday, but I may have just not noticed? It's reasonably short if I have.

Don't think I'm in Stage 4 (continous attention and overcoming gross distraction and strong dullness). Various gross distractions occur, even if I'm not forgetting the breath. Also, I think in this stage I achieve a lot less thinking in words. It has shrunk considerably but still quite present. Further, I haven't even experienced dullness yet. Not that I've noticed. Definitely not sleepy during meditation yet, either.

I anticipate my momentum to slow pretty soon as well. I think I had accidentally done some early meditative stuff when dealing with ADHD, but I think I'm fast approaching the limits of that experience. We'll see. I'm fine with slow progress. Will not rush things. Even though 15 minutes went real easy, will still wait until Sunday before increasing it to 20. Might make the intervals between increasing the meditation timer shorter thereafter, but I think I should choose that after the first meditation I do with extended time.

Dream

Yet again, my dream came back to me during meditation. I let it sit in the background. Not all of it came back, nor as much as yesterday's, but I do remember watching a movie in a theatre with a friend. A character in the movie was called "Weaselman", and I have a friend whose nickname is that. I talked to my friend how it's cool, as we both knew Weaselman.

I think I'll send a chat to Weaselman.

ADHD Medication Reflection

I am on the 26th day of adhd medication and things have settled into a good place. Just had a follow-up with psychiatrist, and he anticipates that a stronger dose will be necessary eventually but for now sticking to the current dose seems like a solid plan. Gave up caffeine the first week on the medication, but added it back in without incident.

Still very able to choose to do things, which means learning to pace myself in a different way than before. Burnt out on work the first week, though luckily that was before the 4-day weekend, and I burnt out on the Thursday. Have noticed that intellectual feedback makes its way to the subconscious better than before. So, intending to do things leads me to doing them sooner and making habits stick or fade faster. E.g. started stretching everyday, last week I picked back up a reading habit, and last Friday I started meditating.

Pretty solid and exciting.

Daily Entry: June 8th, 2020

Timeblock

Time (PST) Plan Reality
0000 SLEEP
0030 SLEEP
0100 SLEEP
0130 SLEEP
0200 SLEEP
0230 SLEEP
0300 SLEEP
0330 SLEEP
0400 SLEEP
0430 SLEEP
0500 SLEEP
0530 SLEEP
0600 Buffer SLEEP
0630 Morning routine block Meditation
0700 Reading: Book Morning routine
0730 Planning Eating
0800 Stretching Reading: The Mind Illuminated
0830 Stretching Planning
0900 Stretching
0930 Stretching
1000 Meeting: Mixpanel Meditation
1030 Maintenance
1100 Grocery shopping Lunch
1130 Grocery shopping TV: YouTube Overwatch
1200 Grocery shopping Grocery shopping
1230 Buffer Grocery shopping
1300 Lunch Grocery shopping
1330 NAP Shower/maintenance
1400 Meeting: Core Opslead Handoff
1430 Work: OpsLead Meeting: Admin Bug Discussion
1500 Work: OpsLead Work: Maintenance
1530 Buffer Work: OpsLead
1600 Music with wife
1630 Buffer Work: OpsLead
1700 Cooking block Work: OpsLead
1730 Cooking block Work: OpsLead
1800 Side-projects Music with wife
1830 Side-projects TV: Central Park
1900 Hanging out TV: YouTube MTG Arena
1930 Hanging out TV: John Oliver
2000 Hanging out TV: John Oliver
2030 Winding down TV: Legend of Korra
2100 SLEEP
2130 SLEEP
2200 SLEEP
2230 SLEEP
2300 SLEEP
2330 SLEEP

Thinking

Meditation this morning went really well. I believe I did not forget the breath this time, though it was not always the primary object of my attention. Did a lot of labeling of distractions, which was neat, and I started to apply that process to reading. Even right now, though I'm not verbalizing the distraction, it seems I take a deep breath once I feel one coming? It's a bit subconscious in this state. I guess the desire to pace may be coming? I'm standing still, I notice.

I'll be entering opslead at 1430 today. This means that practicing flexibility will be very important. Backup meditation will almost certainly be necessary. Also, I'm going to get some grocery shopping in before my opslead rotation starts.

Dream

I remembered my dream a bit during meditation. I did not dig in, as it was not the meditation object, but perhaps that helped it settle even better? I was visiting my friend and his parents. This friend no longer lives with his parents, but in the dream, he did, and in the dream, they lived in a house I have never been to.

There are vague memories of doing things, but at some point a child entered the group. At first, I mistook this child as a new brother of my friend, but it ended up being my friend's nephew. My friend does not have a nephew, but he did recently become an uncle. This child was not a baby, however, and a variety of shenanigans I do not remember ensued.

There was a long walk in the cold suburbs at one point in this dream.

That is all I can remember.

Still pretty good, though. Evidence that medtation will help with this? Or coincidence?

Think about Babuska, grandparents, people who're gone

This is a physical tickler item. I "attempt" to do this task once every three months, but really I continuously throw it to the future. I'm not sure if emotions are tangled up with this item. I mean, I think there are, but I don't explicitly feel them when I see or read the card. It seems more to manifest as a resistance to executing the task.

This card, as I've mentioned before, used to be my weekly reminder to call my babuska (my grandmother). When she died, I crossed-out the "call" and added "think about" and appended "grandparents, people who're gone".

I definitely don't want to force it, though. I want these sorts of reflections to come, and even now, when I feel like I'm in the right head space, I do not have anyone come to mind to discuss. There are just some people I list in my head.

People I love, mind you, but I don't have further reflections.

Perhaps I'll just list them here, as I would refer to them:

  • grandpa
  • grandma
  • babuska
  • daduska
  • uncle Tom

Perhaps "people who're gone" is not exclusive to people who are dead. There are many people I can name that I will likely never see again:

  • Prasad
  • Sandy
  • Noah
  • Kevin

Hmmmm.... Perhaps it is valuable to simply tuck these people into my awareness and let them mingle with the other processes of my subconscious.

Daily Entry: June 7th, 2020

Timeblock

Time (PST) Plan Reality
0000 SLEEP
0030 SLEEP
0100 SLEEP
0130 SLEEP
0200 SLEEP
0230 SLEEP
0300 SLEEP
0330 SLEEP
0400 SLEEP
0430 SLEEP
0500 SLEEP
0530 SLEEP
0600 Buffer Waking up
0630 Morning routine block Meditation
0700 Reading: Book Morning routine
0730 Planning Music with wife
0800 Stretching Planning
0830 Stretching Thinking
0900 Stretching
0930 Maintenance Stretching
1000 Maintenance
1030 Reading: The Mind Illuminated Maintenance
1100 Reading: The Mind Illuminated Maintenance
1130 Reading: The Mind Illuminated
1200 Lunch
1230 NAP Lunch
1300 Buffer TV: Youtube MTG Arena
1330 Reading: The Mind Illuminated NAP
1400 Reading: The Mind Illuminated Maintenance
1430 Reading: The Mind Illuminated Maintenance
1500 Reading: The Mind Illuminated Writing an email
1530 Buffer Writing an email
1600 Reading: The Mind Illuminated
1630 Reading: The Mind Illuminated
1700 Hanging out
1730 Hanging out
1800 Hanging out
1830 Hanging out
1900 Hanging out
1930 Hanging out
2000 Hanging out
2030 Winding down
2100 SLEEP
2130 SLEEP
2200 SLEEP
2230 SLEEP
2300 SLEEP
2330 SLEEP

Thinking

Today is day 3 of my meditation practice. The high has worn off, maybe. Or rather, for some reason today was difficult. Could have been any number of things. I'm reducing my timer to 15 minutes, will increase it to 20 after a week, I think. My main Doubt here is that I may physically hurt myself staying still for too long. I have a history of overdoing things physically. Better to build the strength. I'm confident I can stay still for 15 minutes. I have done it twice already.

Another thing I had difficulty with, which came to me so easily yesterday, was to celebrate when I noticed I got lost and distracted before returning to the meditation object. Maybe I was trying to rush things today? I'll really lean into the realization and enjoy it.

Perhaps it'd be useful to carefully consider my prep here. The prep points are: motivations, goals, expectations, diligence, distractions, and posture.

Motivations

My motivation actually lines up with the purpose of stage 2: to train my brain to notice when it is distracted and return to what I intended to think about. This is something that will be of immense value to me. Tangential thinking is something that I constantly do. With ADHD medication, it has quieted significantly, to be sure, but there's definitely work I can do to be even better. Also, meditation may be a practice that removes the need for the medication, who knows?

Though, it may have been why I had so much trouble this morning, no medication in my system, as the half-life is quite short.

Goals

The goal is to fully celebrate everytime I notice that I've wandered from the meditiation object. Like, full on party-mode joy. I had a little bit of it yesterday, but didn't do enough of it this morning.

I would also like to stay still the entire 15-minute meditation. This is something I have already accomplished, and this, too, has its value outside of meditation as a skill. Like, standing still at my desk as I work would have value, for example.

I have experienced the discomfort, acknowledged it, let it be, and watched it go. It is amazing. Trying to move to fix discomfort is a temptation I often fail to resist, but I know that I can, and that it comes with a rewarding comfort.

Expectations

My expectations are reasonable. I'm not trying to force progress outside of my control. Simply going for regular practice with an intention to reward my mind for good behavior. No willpower or anything. Simply improvement through repetition and feedback.

Diligence

Morning meditations. Everyday. If I sleep through the time for it, I have backup times on weekdays and weekends. So, meditation everyday. No reason not to.

Distractions

The distractions that mainly cause me to lose my way are day dreams. A lot of them day dreams about talking about my meditation experience, ironically enough.

There are also two other distractions that don't get me lost, but do make focus difficult. One is just the noises in my environment. Which I don't think are a big deal. But the other is that I seem to feel like my lungs are not getting enough air the longer I focus on the breath.

This distraction would normally be something I could disregard, I think, but shortness of breath is a symptom of covid19, and so it creates some anxiety. I feel pretty intellectually certain that it is some strange thing with meditation that I should just grow comfortable with and it will go away. It is not a problem present at any other time. That will simply be my plan when encountering this again.

Posture

I may want to try standing meditation. Standing is something that comes more naturally to me than sitting. It'll also serve a dual purpose in practicing standing still.

I could also do some research into the various sitting poses, the stretches to do to be able to enter them comfortably, and cycle through them to find one that I like. The last three meditations, I sat on my knees, using my foam-roller as a cushion. It worked well enough, but I should probably experiment with this.

Some of Yesterday's Thoughts on Meditation

I wrote about my thoughts on meditation a bit yesterday, in a meditation slack channel. I will copy that writing here.

The Mind Illuminated has already helped me considerably, I think. As I read I'll share stuff here, but I think I'll go ahead and share what I've liked so far.

One thing I really liked was the formal distinction between "awareness" and "attention", and it's comparison to peripheral vision and vision. Meditation enhances awareness, trains attention, and strengthens their shared source of energy. Explicitly allocating resources to awareness helps me understand the idea of "being in the present", I think. Also, working on controlling the scope of attention. It's still a bit fuzzy, so I feel unsure about how accurate what I'm saying is, but I've taken a solid step from the "not getting" meditation, I think.

There's also the six-point meditation prep guide: motivations, goals, expectations, diligence, distractions, and posture. (I've added this to my spaced-repetition flashcard app for memorization)

Motivation: why are you meditating

Goals: what are you trying to achieve this session

Expectations: what do you expect of yourself, and are you being reasonable in those expectations? do not try to force progress

Diligence: practice everyday, practice for the time allotted

Distractions: what is likely to vie for your attention, prepare yourself to "let it come, let it be, let it go"

Posture: find a position where you can be comfortably still, but not so comfortable that you'd fall asleep

Note: my friend has told me that he has found that "failing meditation on purpose" is a great way to fall asleep. It will be interesting if I can replicate that ability.

And then there's"the four step transition to the meditation object" (also added to anki, the spaced-repetition flashcard app I use):

  1. Focus on the present
  2. Focus on body sensations
  3. Focus on bodily sensations related to the breath
  4. Focus on the sensations of breath at the nose

A session may need to return to step one, or go some steps back after returning from a distraction. This one I also think will be really interesting to construct for different meditation objects. Like, figuring out a good narrowing of focus.

And lastly, something that was really satisfying to cultivate (and should only grow more satisfying) is to feel a sense of achievement when you notice yourself daydreaming. Don't get frustrated that you got distracted, be happy you noticed. Want to reward yourself for noticing, as it trains you mind to flag it. Meditation is not about will power, it's building muscle-memory, basically. It's like throwing a ball. The conscious mind provides feedback, and then with enough practice you'll get better.

Right now I'm on the high of getting into it, but hopefully I'll stick with it.

Time-Tracking Review

So, the way Toggl works is that it wants to show you your tracked time split by project. So, instead of the description, which is what I used before, I made a whole bunch of projects.

  • Cooking
  • Doctor's Appointment
  • Eating
  • Entertainment
  • Exercise
  • Grocery shopping
  • Hanging Out
  • Maintenance
  • Meditation
  • Music with Wife
  • Nap
  • Reading
  • Side Projects
  • Sleep
  • Stretching
  • Talking
  • Therapy
  • Transition
  • Unintended
  • Work: Data Sensitivity
  • Work: Demo
  • Work: Maintenance
  • Work: Meeting
  • Work: Slack
  • YouTube

Overall, this works pretty well, actually. But I think instead of "Data Sensitivity", it should've been the kind of work, like "coding" or "deploying" or "debugging" or "analysis". So, I'll probably do it differently next week there.

I think the actual project I'm working on should be a tag in Toggl. Also can be in the description, maybe.

I need to be better about distinguishing when I'm doing my own maintenance (often labeled as "Organization" in my timeblock, but "Maintenance" is a better word, I think), and when I'm doing "Work: Maintenance".

I also need to divy up my meetings between required and optional, I think.

It may also behoove me to split maintenance up into more projects that fall under it, as I devoted almost 12 hours last week to it. That's a significant chunk, and diving deeper may show some insight.

Sleep was the biggest single chunk, at 64 hours. So I spend about 9 hours per day on average sleeping (not counting naps). I think that's just reality? Possibly not worth trying to "fix". As long as I can fall asleep consistently.

YouTube was the next biggest chunk, at 18 hours.... Probably want to watch less YouTube.

Then maintanence, at 12 hours.

Then eating, at 9 hours.

I won't go on here. I'm going to want to export this data to Mixpanel to better visualize it, I think. And also share it better here in the log.

But today let's wordily go over the important bits to reflect on.

Work Breakdown

According to Toggl, I clocked in 17 hours of work last week. Which isn't a lot. Now, to be fair, during the weekdays my morning routine, which is tracked as "Maintenance", covers a lot of work. Still, though, I think I can do better. "Deep work", aka the work I get paid for, was at 7 hours. I put it all in the "Data Sensitivity" bucket, but will want it to be more explicitly the kind of work I'm doing next week.

Apparently, I spent 7.5 hours in meetings last week. About half of those, or maybe a third, were optional. Might want to cut some out. Next week there's just fewer meetings, though.

Goals for next week are:

  • better breakdown of work
  • tracking work maintenance as work
  • put actual work projects, like "Data Sensitivity" in a tag, and use the kind of work as the Toggl project name

Personal Breakdown

Overall: less YouTube, more quality entertainment. Potentially, "YouTube" is too wide a net, and I can break that down further into the type of video (e.g. "Overwatch", "MTG Arena", "Edutainment", "ZFG", etc).

But also, any YouTube I watch by myself may be better replaced with reading, which I want to do more of. And potentially video games or side-projects.

And I'd like to think about how I may want to break "Maintenance" down further.

The Meditative Nap

So, yesterday and today I followed the 4-step transition to the meditative object while laying down to nap. Not sure if it's still novel enough or what, but it kept my mind active and I definitely didn't fall asleep for either nap. Though, this sort of thing would happen anyways, with meditation I came out of the nap feeling just as refreshed as when I nap. So, I think it's fine?

There's a strong likelihood that naps will actually happen during naptime, so I think I'll maintain the morning plan, but I am quite okay with it just being another meditation session. I think that's stronger than the strange sleepless dreams I wander through during some naps.

My brain does feel a lot quieter, as well. And there's this lingering bit of meta awareness. I notice when I start to pace. Or as I fidgit whilst standing here typing. There's this constant allure of daydreaming going on at all times.

I also have realized that I often turn my head to look out the window. How long have I had this habit? It is not something I really noticed myself doing until yesterday. I have the habit of keeping the blinds open.... Has it lasted as long as that? Is the little bit of nature outside the window a secret source of joy for me?

....

And just then, on that thought, I went for a pace to the bedroom and back. But very quickly into it: "Hey, you're pacing, just FYI" is the kinda sensation I got. And then I got a nice little jolt of joy (just going to stick with using the word joy), a reward for noticing the movement of distraction.

....

And then I did it again. Now there's an explicit smile on my face.

Is Meditation the Key to "Practicing Intentionality"?

There was a new thing I wanted to do: "practice intentionality". Basically, do what I set out to do. The idea was maybe to place activities in specific timeblocks, and not let them leak elsewhere. But perhaps this is hard to do without first cultivating directed attention and sustained attention.

Perhaps, to add another of my goals into this line of thinking, this cultivation is also necessary for the observation and recording of dreams, and the transition to lucid dreaming.

Hmmm... something to ruminate on.

Daily Entry: June 6th, 2020

Timeblock

Time (PST) Plan Reality
0000 SLEEP
0030 SLEEP
0100 SLEEP
0130 SLEEP
0200 SLEEP
0230 SLEEP
0300 SLEEP
0330 SLEEP
0400 SLEEP
0430 SLEEP
0500 SLEEP
0530 SLEEP
0600 Buffer SLEEP
0630 Morning routine block SLEEP
0700 Reading: Book Morning routine
0730 Planning Morning routine
0800 Stretching Planning
0830 Grocery shopping
0900 Grocery shopping
0930 Grocery shopping
1000 Buffer Reading: News
1030 Stretching
1100 Stretching
1130 Cooking
1200 Lunch
1230 NAP Reading: Mind Illuminated
1300 Buffer NAP
1330 Organization Thinking about meditation
1400 Music with wife Organization
1430 Side-projects Organization
1500 Side-projects Reading: Film Crit Hulk
1530 Buffer TV: YouTube
1600 Meditation TV: YouTube
1630 Meditation
1700 Cooking block TV: YouTube
1730 Cooking block Side-projects
1800 Side-projects Music with wife
1830 Side-projects Music with wife
1900 Hanging out TV: YouTube
1930 Hanging out TV: YouTube
2000 Hanging out TV: Harley Quinn
2030 Winding down
2100 SLEEP
2130 SLEEP
2200 SLEEP
2230 SLEEP
2300 SLEEP
2330 SLEEP

Thinking

Ended up never stretching yesterday. One thing after another. Didn't grocery shop either. I'll make sure to do both today.

Daily Entry: June 5th, 2020

Timeblock

Time (PST) Plan Reality
0000 SLEEP
0030 SLEEP
0100 SLEEP
0130 SLEEP
0200 SLEEP
0230 SLEEP
0300 SLEEP
0330 SLEEP
0400 SLEEP
0430 SLEEP
0500 SLEEP
0530 SLEEP
0600 Buffer SLEEP
0630 Morning routine block
0700 Reading: The Mind Illuminated
0730 Planning Work: Slack
0800 Stretching Planning
0830 Music with wife
0900 Stretching Organization
0930 Meditation
1000 Meeting: Mixability ERG Monthly
1030 Organization
1100 Prep for orthodontist appointment
1130 Orthodontist appointment
1200 Lunch
1230 Lunch
1300 NAP
1330 Buffer
1400 Meeting: Admin Team Standup
1430 Grocery shopping Data Sensitivity Bug
1500 Grocery shopping Data Sensitivity Bug
1530 Grocery shopping Data Sensitivity Bug
1600 Grocery shopping Data Sensitivity Bug
1630 Stretching TV: YouTube
1700 Stretching TV: YouTube
1730 Cooking block TV: YouTube
1800 Cooking block Cooking
1830 Side-projects TV: Legend of Korra
1900 Hanging out TV: Legend of Korra
1930 Hanging out TV: Legend of Korra
2000 Hanging out TV: Legend of Korra
2030 Winding down Reading: The Mind Illuminated
2100 SLEEP
2130 SLEEP
2200 SLEEP
2230 SLEEP
2300 SLEEP
2330 SLEEP

Thinking

Not liking my new habit of waking up at 0630, but its consistent enough that I've baked it into my default timeblock. I'll try to wake up early over the weekend and reset.

Time for some music with wife.

Redoing the Plan

Have an orthodontist appointment, meaning my grocery shopping had to be moved.

Daily Entry: June 4th, 2020

Timeblock

Time (PST) Plan Reality
0000 SLEEP
0030 SLEEP
0100 SLEEP
0130 SLEEP
0200 SLEEP
0230 SLEEP
0300 SLEEP
0330 SLEEP
0400 SLEEP
0430 Buffer SLEEP
0500 Buffer SLEEP
0530 Buffer SLEEP
0600 Morning routine block SLEEP
0630 Morning routine block Morning routine
0700 Buffer Morning routine
0730 Planning Hanging out
0800 Stretching Planning
0830 Music with wife Delay of plans
0900 Stretching Music with wife
0930 Stretching Stretching
1000 Organization Stretching
1030 Buffer Organization
1100 Running 2.5 miles
1130 Shower/maintenance
1200 Lunch
1230 NAP Lunch
1300 Buffer TV: YouTube
1330 Work NAP
1400 Meeting: 1/1 with Alex
1430 Buffer TV: YouTube
1500 Meeting: Seattle Demo Happy Hour
1530 Meeting: Seattle Demo Happy Hour Reading: The Mind Illuminated
1600 Buffer Data Sensitivity Bug
1630 Buffer Data Sensitivity Bug
1700 Cooking block Data Sensitivity Bug
1730 Cooking block TV: Legend of Korra
1800 Side-projects TV: Legend of Korra
1830 Side-projects Hanging out
1900 Hanging out
1930 Hanging out
2000 Hanging out
2030 Winding down Hanging out
2100 SLEEP Reading: The Mind Illuminated
2130 SLEEP
2200 SLEEP
2230 SLEEP
2300 SLEEP
2330 SLEEP

Thinking

Waking up a bit later than I would like again. Will try to wake up by 0600 again tomorrow. Maybe even go for 0500 (but I may reserve that for the weekend).

Dream

I had a very vivid dream. A lucid one, maybe? But I can't remember it at all anymore.

Daily Entry: June 3rd, 2020

Timeblock

Time (PST) Plan Reality
0000 SLEEP
0030 SLEEP
0100 SLEEP
0130 SLEEP
0200 SLEEP
0230 SLEEP
0300 SLEEP
0330 SLEEP
0400 SLEEP
0430 Buffer SLEEP
0500 Buffer SLEEP
0530 Buffer SLEEP
0600 Morning routine block SLEEP
0630 Morning routine block SLEEP
0700 Buffer Morning routine
0730 Planning Morning routine
0800 Stretching Planning
0830 Organization
0900 Meeting: All hands prep
0930 Meeting: All hands prep
1000 Meeting: All hands
1030 Meeting: All hands
1100 Stretching Reading: The Mind Illuminated
1130 Stretching Reading: The Mind Illuminated
1200 Running 2.5 miles Lunch
1230 Shower/maintenance Lunch
1300 Lunch TV: YouTube
1330 Data Sensitivity Bug TV: YouTube
1400 Data Sensitivity Bug Meeting: Townhall with VP
1430 Data Sensitivity Bug Meeting: Townhall with VP
1500 Data Sensitivity Bug
1530 Buffer Meeting: Seattle Zoom Hangout
1600 Music with wife Zoom Hangout with friend
1630 Buffer Zoom Hangout with friend
1700 Cooking block TV: YouTube
1730 Cooking block TV: YouTube
1800 Side-projects TV: YouTube
1830 Side-projects Music with wife
1900 Hanging out
1930 Hanging out
2000 Hanging out
2030 Winding down
2100 SLEEP
2130 SLEEP
2200 SLEEP
2230 SLEEP
2300 SLEEP
2330 SLEEP

Thinking

My brain was obsessed with stuff yesterday, and so I had trouble deciding to go to bed. Ended up sleeping in to get a solid amount of sleep. Still a little out of it, though. I think I can make it work though. Going to move some things around to prep for the all hands at 1000 properly.

Dream

I was some sort of air conditioning salesman in a rivalry with some other company.

Daily Entry: June 2nd, 2020

Timeblock

Time (PST) Plan Reality
0000 SLEEP
0030 SLEEP
0100 SLEEP
0130 SLEEP
0200 SLEEP
0230 SLEEP
0300 SLEEP
0330 SLEEP
0400 SLEEP
0430 Buffer SLEEP
0500 Buffer SLEEP
0530 Buffer SLEEP
0600 Morning routine block SLEEP
0630 Morning routine block Morning routine
0700 Buffer Morning routine
0730 Planning
0800 Stretching
0830 Stretching
0900 Organization
0930 Pomodoro: Data Sensitivity Bug
1000 Blackpanel OH
1030 Blackpanel OH
1100 Appointment
1130 Appointment
1200 Lunch Reflection
1230 NAP Lunch
1300 Meeting: FE Discussion
1330 Meeting: FE Discussion
1400 Buffer Exhausted
1430 Pomodoro: Data Sensitivity Bug Exhausted
1500 Pomodoro: Data Sensitivity Bug Data Sensitivity Bug
1530 Buffer Data Sensitivity Bug
1600 Meeting: Meditation Data Sensitivity Bug
1630 Music with wife Data Sensitivity Bug
1700 Cooking block Cooking: Vegan Samoas
1730 Cooking block Cooking: Vegan Samoas
1800 Side-projects TV: YouTube
1830 Seattle Library Web Event TV: YouTube
1900 Seattle Library Web Event TV: YouTube
1930 Hanging out TV: YouTube
2000 Hanging out Hanging out
2030 Winding down Hanging out
2100 SLEEP Hanging out
2130 SLEEP Hanging out
2200 SLEEP Hanging out
2230 SLEEP Hanging out
2300 SLEEP
2330 SLEEP

Thinking

No more default pomodoros. I already timeblock items in, and now I use time-tracking. I might set a timer just to remind me to switch. Pomodoros, I think, will be more strict going forward. 25 minutes of "deep work" with an explicit goal by the end of it. And then also a planned break of some properly energizing task (stretching, pacing, push-ups, etc).

Daily Entry: June 1st, 2020

Timeblock

Time (PST) Plan Reality
0000 SLEEP
0030 SLEEP
0100 SLEEP
0130 SLEEP
0200 SLEEP
0230 SLEEP
0300 SLEEP
0330 SLEEP
0400 SLEEP
0430 Buffer SLEEP
0500 Buffer SLEEP
0530 Buffer SLEEP
0600 Morning routine block SLEEP
0630 Morning routine block Morning routine
0700 Buffer Morning routine
0730 Pomodoro: Planning TV: News without the BS
0800 Stretching Pomodoro: Planning
0830 Stretching
0900 Stretching
0930 Pomodoro: Organization Organization
1000 Pomodoro: Work Organization
1030 Buffer Pomodoro: Data Sensitivity Bug
1100 Grocery shopping
1130 Grocery shopping
1200 Grocery shopping
1230 Buffer Lunch
1300 NAP Lunch
1330 Lunch NAP
1400 Meeting: Admin Team Weekly Sync
1430 Buffer
1500 Pomodoro: Work
1530 Appointment: Therapist
1600 Appointment: Therapist
1630 Buffer Appointment: Therapist
1700 Cooking block TV: YouTube
1730 Cooking block TV: YouTube
1800 Music with wife Side-projects
1830 Pomodoro: Side-projects Side-projects
1900 Hanging out
1930 Hanging out
2000 Hanging out
2030 Winding down
2100 SLEEP
2130 SLEEP
2200 SLEEP
2230 SLEEP
2300 SLEEP
2330 SLEEP

Thinking

Woke up with a bit of an upset stomach so I slept in. Though the cat really didn't want any of that. Think it'll all work out, though. Today is a meeting/appointment-heavy day so I won't get much work in, I don't think. Putting in a lot of buffers to set expectations low and doable. Let's see if I can exceed those expectations.

I'm pretty sure that regular stretching and a low heartbeat are correlated. After a consistent week of stretching (woo!), I'm now regularly seeing my heart rate below 50, and it often stays below 60 when at my standing desk (usually around 70 like it is right now).

Pretty happy with these habits coming in. I think a big goal here is to not overdo it. Pick a minimum when things are hard, pick a maximum when things are easy, and adhere to those numbers. I got this from a game dev diary wherein a person was making a game a month (he's also a writer):

"Everyone has what works for them. My method for writing books is to write one page a day, and try not to think about if it's turning out good or not. This is after all why they call it a first draft. Try not to reread it too much and most definitely don't go back and rewrite anything. Focus on getting to the end. If you can't think of what's going to happen next, skip ahead to the next thing you are sure about. Everything gets easier once you get to the end, once we know where it's going, and what the point of the whole thing was. And that's when you go back and rewrite the earlier bits and get everything in line.

"The most important thing for me is not to write more than a page a day. Some days you feel like you could write more, great, stop anyway, hang onto it, stew on it over night, and starting tomorrow's page will be easy. Writing as much as you can everyday is the fastest way to burn out. So try to write at least a page, but if you really can't manage that, just write something everyday. Even one line. Even one word. Is forward progress."

I think this is solid. I definitely go too hard too fast and then am exhausted. I even did this the first week on ADHD meds for employed-work and by Thursday was burnt out. Last week, I did things in a much more sustainable way, managed to work throughout the week, and also am ready for work with this week (the weekend was "enough" of a break, in this sense).

Perhaps a new mantra is in order, then? Maybe in addition to "practice flexibility" and maybe "practice intentionality" (not sure about this one yet), there can be "one page a day"?

Something to ruminate on.

Daily Entry: May 31st, 2020

Timeblock

Time (PST) Plan Reality
0000 SLEEP
0030 SLEEP
0100 SLEEP
0130 SLEEP
0200 SLEEP
0230 SLEEP
0300 SLEEP
0330 SLEEP
0400 SLEEP
0430 Buffer SLEEP
0500 Buffer SLEEP
0530 Buffer Waking up
0600 Morning routine block Waking up
0630 Morning routine block TV: YouTube
0700 Buffer Breakfast
0730 Pomodoro: Planning Breakfast
0800 Stretching Planning
0830 Stretching
0900 Stretching
0930 Pomodoro: Organization
1000 Cooking block Organization
1030 Cooking block Organization
1100 Exercise block Cooking
1130 Exercise block Lunch
1200 Lunch Cleaning kitty litters
1230 NAP Shower/maintenance
1300 Buffer Organization
1330 Pomodoro: Side-projects Organization
1400 Pomodoro: Side-projects NAP
1430 Pomodoro: Side-projects TV: YouTube
1500 Pomodoro: Side-projects Music with wife
1530 Buffer Organization
1600 Music with wife Side-projects
1630 Buffer Side-projects
1700 Cooking block Cooking: Pad Thai
1730 Cooking block Cooking: Pad Thai
1800 Hanging out
1830 Hanging out
1900 Hanging out
1930 Hanging out
2000 Hanging out
2030 Winding down
2100 SLEEP
2130 SLEEP
2200 SLEEP
2230 SLEEP
2300 SLEEP
2330 SLEEP

Thinking

Off to a decent start today, I think. Maybe a bit inefficient this morning, but that's okay. Going to see if I can make time for side-projects today. Nothing serious, though, I don't think. Might get a Leetcode account and start drilling problems. Make that a game I regularly play. Get into the habit of regularly solving new problems.

Wouldn't mind getting back into my minimal webapp, though, either. Still want to make that "Paid Off for Life" MVP setup.

It is also a day to do a monthly review.... Been a while since I did one of those. Been a while since I did a proper personal weekly review, as well. I could start with a weekly and maybe do a monthly on top of that.

Hmmmm....

Notion Tasks

Trying to take my daily task list more seriously. Less... punting stuff to the future. Stuff that's punted too often should probably live in a list I just review once a week or something. Should probably make a weekly review list and stuff, actually.

One task item I've come across regularly is "No Twitter Streak Continues?" I don't have to write thoughts about it, I like to just think about it. It's a daily item, but it's also something I haven't discussed in a while.

I have been twitter free for a pretty long time again. To the point that the desire doesn't really trigger. I don't feel particularly less politically knowledgeable, either, which was often my main excuse. Though I don't keep up with the news, the people I'm surrounded by do and I get a lot of it through osmosis.

Though there is a news site that a friend recommends that I might check out.